My Gut Reaction To Hand Feeding
My Gut Reaction To Hand Feeding
When I first met my husband's family, I was so nervous that I didn't think about questions I should be asking him to prepare myself. I was just focused on not making a complete fool of myself!Luckily, his family is full of amazing people that made me feel comfortable right away. They even shared some cultural differences I may notice throughout our first week together. One of the first things they mentioned was that they ate Indian food with their hands.They showed the technique behind how to do it and I even ended up trying it out myself. I'll be honest, it took me a little bit to feel comfortable doing it in front of them consistently, but I learned. It became something I could do to show my husband (fiancé at the time) that I was eager to learn more about his culture and to embrace it.Over the years we've been together, it's become second nature to me. In fact, I can't remember the last time I ate Indian food with a utensil. The joke in Indian families is that food doesn't taste as good when using a utensil and I'm starting to agree!A meal isn't just about the food in Indian culture. It's about family and the love you have for each other.When my husband and I were engaged, we had a ceremony. During the evening, some of the older aunty's and uncles (older friends of the family) hand fed us sweets.At first, I was surprised and kept offering to do it myself. Then my husband gently nudged me and let me know it was part of the ceremony itself.This one took me longer to be comfortable with. The last time someone hand fed me, I was a little kid. In my mind, hand feeding was something parents did for their children who needed help. I had never seen it done in any other way.Fast forward a few years and I ran into an interesting situation with my 5-year-old, Liam. He is my child that wants to be big, now! He's not about this whole growing up business. He wants everyone to know he's mature for his age and doesn't need help. He's s spitting image of myself as a child.During one of our trips to visit my husband's family, one of Liam's Uthamas started to try and hand feed him. His instant reaction was to take it from her hand and do it himself. She offered a few more times and then stopped. My husband and I tried to explain it to him, but he wasn't having it.I'm not a baby, momma.This was the first moment I realized hand feeding was something bigger than I thought it was. It wasn't about an adult treating someone like a kid. It was about the special moment between two people who cared about each other.Uthama was hand feeding Liam because she loved him. It was just like snuggling on the couch for her. They were having a special bonding moment.
Over the years, my kids have responded to this differently. My two younger kids live for it. If they could be hand fed for every meal, they would! Liam is still a different story. He's becoming more comfortable with it, but in the back of his mind, he still pushes back.One thing we've done to try and help explain it to him is having him feed his uncle. My sister in law got married a little over a year ago. Her husband asked Liam to feed him some fruit on one of our trips. Liam started to laugh thinking he was being silly.Then he did it and it was such a special moment. He loves his uncle so much so for him I think it finally clicked in his mind. Obviously he could have fed himself, but he asked Liam to do it.Ever since then, he's been much more willing to have people hand feed him. He would still prefer to feed himself, but I don't notice him turning people down as much anymore. Now he just asks to feed them after!