The Responsibility of Being A Mother In A Multiracial Family
I always knew there would be a lot of responsibilities as a mother, but I had no idea how much it could be.
As a mother, it’s my responsibility to raise my kids to be strong and independent men. I want them to be confident in who they are so they can weather any storm they face in their life.
My kids are biracial. They’re trying to figure out who they are as Indian and Caucasian young boys. I love watching them navigate through both cultures. They have their whole lives to to figure out their biracial identity and right now it’s all about the journey. They’re figuring it all out one year and one step at a time.
There are so many things I want them to know as they start to figure it all out. As their mother, I feel a lot of pressure to make sure it all sinks in.
We tell our kids things every single day. Don’t leave your socks on the ground. Don’t be mean to your brother. Use an inside voice. It doesn’t matter how often we say it because we’ll continue to say the same things until the finally sink in.
The reality is some may not. They may end up getting married and their wives are still yelling at them about their dirty socks on the floor.
**Am I right ladies!?**
As I watch my little boys sleep next to me on the couch, I realize out of everything there are a few things I hope and pray will sink in.
Lessons I Want My Biracial Children To Live By
Believe In Yourself
At the end of the day your kids need to be their own motivator. They need to believe in themselves so much that they don’t let people put them down. Their confidence can remind them they can do anything they set their minds to.
Your Unique Qualities Are What Make You Special
As biracial kids, it’s easy for them to see their unique qualities as a hindrance. Kids want to be like their friends so they don’t stand out. As a mother to biracial kids we need to teach them how special those differences are. We have to help them take pride in what makes them unique.
You Will Meet Ignorant People And That’s Ok
As much as we would all love to keep every ignorant person away from our child, we can’t Some people will say ignorant comments to our kids and that’s ok. It’s an opportunity for them to challenge it. They can teach people more about their culture instead of letting their comments make them upset.
You Can Make A Difference
As a biracial child, our kids have a unique perspective on life. They will see the beauty in diversity. We need to ingrain into them that they can make a difference. All they have to do is let their courage fuel them and they can do anything.
We Love You Regardless Of Which Side You Identify With More
A struggle many biracial kids deal with is identifying more with one of their cultures. Often times it’s due to which culture they are around more and that’s ok. We have to give them the freedom to figure out their biracial identity on their own. As much as we would love it, there isn’t anyway for them to have a perfectly balanced biracial identity.
Stand Up Against Things You Know Are Wrong
As our kids grow up, we need to show them what it looks like to stand up against prejudice and racism. Sadly it’s going to happen whether we like it or not. We can’t prevent it, but we can stand up against it. As our kids see us lead by example, they’ll be more likely to do it when we aren’t there.
People Have Fought For Your Rights, Don’t Squander It
Throughout the years many people have fought for the rights we have today. It’s hard for kids to see this at time because their used to their freedom. The Lovings fought for multiracial couples like us. They stood up in a time where people said interracial couples didn’t belong together. It’s our job as mothers to remind our kids to be grateful and to take advantage of the opportunities they have today.
Hate Doesn’t Solve Anything
One of the hardest things to witness is prejudice and racism. It stirs up the momma bear in all of us because we know how much it hurts our kids and our own multiracial families. We need to teach our kids that responding in hate won’t change anything. It makes us all angry, but hate is what caused it in the first place.
Love And Knowledge Are Powerful Weapons
Hate has caused so many of the terrible things in our society. It’s caused people to say hurtful things and even as terrible as committing hate crimes. We need to teach our kids to respond by teaching people about new cultures and how to love each other. Ignorance fuels prejudice and racism so knowledge is key.
I am always reminding my kids to teach their friends about Indian culture because most of the mean comments they’ve said to my kids are because they’re not used to Indian traditions. They see my kids eat Indian food with their hands and make fun of them. They don’t realize it’s because it’s what Indian families do.
If I had to choose one thing to teach my kids above all else it would be this. Fight hate and racism with love and knowledge.