“The words that come out of your mouth are much more powerful than you realize. They can make someone’s day completely better or make them feel like complete garbage. You need to think about that before you start saying mean things…”
This was just a tiny piece of my conversation with my four-year-old last night.
He is my sensitive boy. I always have to watch what I say to him because he can find a flaw or insult in just about anything. It almost means a simple compliment for him can mean the whole world!
Then why is it so easy for him to say hurtful things to his brothers?
Last night, I walked in on my boys fighting over some silly toy. It’s not unusual for them in fact if I were to walk in on them playing nicely together… I’d wonder what they were up to.
In that moment, I had it. I was completely over the arguing and mean things they were saying to each other. I started to explain just how powerful words are to my four-year-old and noticed he started to get emotional.
His tender heart couldn’t believe that he had truly hurt his brother’s feelings even if his temper told him differently in the moment. The problem is everything goes to the waist-side when his temper is flared.
I’ve never felt so close to him!
The perpetual struggle with your own temper is rough. Especially when you’re a little boy trying to sort it all out. The good thing is he feels remorse afterward and he wants to be nice to people around him. That’s more than I can say about myself when I’m mad. In the midst of my bad mood, I have no desire to be nice to anyone else.
So what can I do? How can I help him try and calm down before he says something he regrets?
Tips To Calm Down Your Hot Tempered Kiddo
Take A Deep Breath
Teach your kids to take a deep breath when they feel like they’re about to blow. It gives them a moment to think before they do or say anything they’ll regret in the moment.
Find Alone Time
When your kids starts to get upset, teach them to ask for a break. They can go to their room, sit on the back porch, or simply find a little spot in the house to find some peace. Let them calm down on their own and then come back when they’re ready.
Ask For A Hug
Sometimes emotions get high and all your child really needs is a big hug and some reassurance. When they get upset, give them a few options to calm down and always offer some love. You’d be surprised just how much can be solved by a tight hug.
Help Your Child Understand Their Feelings
Talk with your kiddo and help them talk through their feelings. You can help them find out what made them so angry and explain what they’re feeling. As they learn to identify those feelings they can figure out what to do with them before they get too explosive.
Sing A Song
Find a fun song that can help change the tone of the situation. One of our favorites is Daniel Tiger. All three of my kids know their calm down song and even sing it to each other! Adorable.
Find Something For Them To Do With Their Hands
Anger can quickly turn to fighting with siblings or breaking something. Stop it before it can get there and help your kids find something to do with their hands. You can have them punch a pillow, play with a squishy ball, or play baseball.
How do you help your kiddos calm down when they’re about to blow a gasket?